Why Am I Not Over This By Now?

On allowing grief to naturally flow

The morning after I caught my ex cheating, I messaged my friend Anna and told her what happened. She jumped in her car and drove across two hours of rush hour traffic to be with me. When she arrived, I was in a state of shock that felt chillingly familiar: I’d last felt this way almost fifteen years ago when my boyfriend died by suicide.

So much of my e…