Tiffany! I nodded my way through this piece partly because I recognise much of my 46-year-old self and also because you didn’t come to play and hit us with some stone-cold truths, particularly “The problem with the people we see talking about success is that they’re already successful. They talk down to us from up high that getting to the top isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and they’re right: success can be an empty well. However, they also may have forgotten the realities of not being successful.” By the time I was done reading, I wanted to do a ‘testify’ dance 🤣
Only last night, I admitted in the comments of another Substack that this platform has brought out the anxious writer in me. Yesterday, I watched some mutherf pass of my work as his and read it word for fricking word with over 1 million views on Tik Tok. 17 years to get a book deal as I watch the world and it’s dog get one and sometimes see people start a blog or whatever, eat breakfast, fart, and be lauded within weeks or months, and let’s just say that my recent publishing experience has been rather lacklustre.
And yet, I crack on, albeit at a slower pace because I had to stop working the way I did because it fed into feels of not being good enough. I know there are many ways of being ‘successful’ and that I have done lots of great creative work precisely because I haven’t waited for permission or a pat on the back. I also know all about the sense of not comparing yourself and blah blah, which is all on point, but seeing what’s happening for others is bound to raise questions in ourselves.
You are most definitely not alone, and I so appreciate your honesty.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Tiffany. I can relate! You made me — and I bet lots of other people — feel less alone by sharing these thoughts. That's a mark of success. I hope you keep writing. Your perspective is so valuable! xo
I really enjoyed reading this, and as a writer of a similar age whose star appears to have faded, related hard – both to the points about creativity, and comparing yourself to your peers. If it helps, this is exactly the kind of thing I want to read more of, so thank you! I'm trying to embrace the malaise myself, and recently rewrote my 'About' page bio to read more realistically:
Daniel Piper is an author, journalist and recovering poet. He peaked in 2017-18 when he published a collection of short stories and poems, was runner-up the World Poetry Slam Championships, performed two mildly successful comedy shows at the Edinburgh Fringe festival, gained a modest online following and appeared in a TV advert for a bank. Since then, his star has faded, for which he blames the coronavirus pandemic and changes to the Instagram algorithm. While it grows increasingly unlikely with each passing year that he will find the success and acclaim he craves, he has begun writing his autobiography, just in case.
Oh gosh I too have noticed the established authors taking over Substack! Three and a half years well done you. It does make the whole thing feel like a slog though I feel the same way. I am also sick of people selling themselves as substack gurus when the reality is they usually had a readership before, and it has grown on substack. I don’t know many people who have tonnes of subscribers who have started writing from scratch? There are so many under dogs on here. So much good writing. Keep going! That’s the advice I’m trying to give myself too 😂🙌🏻
Thanks for writing this. I am 39 and have followed the conventional career path and its left me financially comfortable, which is obviously amazing, but completely empty otherwise. I keep looking at a more creative path but its daunting and as you say, a lot of people I follow are already successful in that path so it's easy to pretend everyone in the creative field makes it work. Sorry,this is almost sounding like a negative post but I think what I'm saying is I'm really grateful for your honesty with how hard it actually is for the majority of people. Definitely keep going, the traditional path isn't necessary the answer either, but I do appreciate how good it feels to have less financial stress!
It's really hard, b/c even if you don't care about the money, every writer wants to be more widely read, which usually means doing marketing actions that resonate with you. That's what the Author Ecosystems is all about, finding the marketing actions that you don't think are marketing actions and resonate with your natural tendencies.
I think you missed one thing in your analysis. The thing with fame is that it's almost all luck and out of your control. Success is a different metric. You might be able to be famous with a group of people who know you, but overall fame, after a certain level, is luck more than anything.
It's okay not to be lucky, or lucky enough to win the fame lottery. All we can control is the work we do, not even the reaction people have to that work.
This post, which I randomly stumbled upon while scrolling on Substack, is my very first time reading any of your work. Now I plan on on reading your book. So, I guess the euphemism here is.. maybe the playground of thoughts and ideas is where you shine, where you create the community you crave, or at the very least, where you make new friends, followers, and a fan base. Keep writing girl 🤍
Every word of this resonated with me, Tiff - I have been feeling very lost and like I’m ‘over’ lately. I’m hoping it’s temporary, but it can make you feel so anxious when it’s both your passion and your income!
I totally agree that it’s not always about talent - often it’s just chance. Something goes viral, someone who’s ‘made it’ backs you (rare, as usually they just sort of back each other), etc. But there are so many different kinds of success and I do thing there’s a bit of arrival fallacy going on - I doubt anyone ever feels totally satisfied with where they’ve got to. On my worst days, I remind myself that you never know what will happen tomorrow, it helps a bit x
I don't know if you're looking for things to read that speak to how you're feeling – but if you are, read: 'When the thing that was meant to change your life doesn’t change your life' https://madeleinedore.substack.com/p/on-change
Cry! Have a wine! Buy something you can't afford! But don't give up – 'If you quit now, you will soon be back to where you started. And when you started you were so desperately wishing to be where you are now.'
And you're one up on me – I'm an UNPUBLISHED 33 year old writer (and single mum). But I'm now dancing to the song that success is when you've written something you're willing to post/publish/share – whatever comes afterwards is a bonus.
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly - I find it brave, and personally I am a big fan of writers who are willing to talk about their challenges and vulnerabilities.
It resonated with me: particularly, when you say you’re in a challenging moment as a single 35-yo who has chosen to follow a non-conventional, creative path, and the self-doubts this is bringing up for you when you think about where you’d like to be by now, including the more pragmatic financial side of it.
As someone who didn’t choose a well-paying linear career path back in the days and stuck with it her whole adult life and instead is trying to navigate an in-between space of “so what is it that I’m actually doing here?”, this feels very tender.
This morning I read a quote about “all is coming”, and who knows if it’s a bigger audience here on Substack or what else, but hopefully at least some of the answers we’re looking for? You are not alone, Tiffany.
Love Fleabag! So many good lines and that last episode.... damn... also... I feel every line you wrote. I don’t want to be in marketing here. I’ve been here for just as long and I feel like Substack loves the new successful newcomers and those of us who had faith, hope... audacity to write here first ... well, a big f//k you now! Like everything else; the longer you stay, the less value you have...
I’m sure you’re as skilled as other famous authors — though not as lucky. Fame and success are mostly driven by chance, even though famous and successful people don’t want to admit it.
Tiffany! I nodded my way through this piece partly because I recognise much of my 46-year-old self and also because you didn’t come to play and hit us with some stone-cold truths, particularly “The problem with the people we see talking about success is that they’re already successful. They talk down to us from up high that getting to the top isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and they’re right: success can be an empty well. However, they also may have forgotten the realities of not being successful.” By the time I was done reading, I wanted to do a ‘testify’ dance 🤣
Only last night, I admitted in the comments of another Substack that this platform has brought out the anxious writer in me. Yesterday, I watched some mutherf pass of my work as his and read it word for fricking word with over 1 million views on Tik Tok. 17 years to get a book deal as I watch the world and it’s dog get one and sometimes see people start a blog or whatever, eat breakfast, fart, and be lauded within weeks or months, and let’s just say that my recent publishing experience has been rather lacklustre.
And yet, I crack on, albeit at a slower pace because I had to stop working the way I did because it fed into feels of not being good enough. I know there are many ways of being ‘successful’ and that I have done lots of great creative work precisely because I haven’t waited for permission or a pat on the back. I also know all about the sense of not comparing yourself and blah blah, which is all on point, but seeing what’s happening for others is bound to raise questions in ourselves.
You are most definitely not alone, and I so appreciate your honesty.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Tiffany. I can relate! You made me — and I bet lots of other people — feel less alone by sharing these thoughts. That's a mark of success. I hope you keep writing. Your perspective is so valuable! xo
I really enjoyed reading this, and as a writer of a similar age whose star appears to have faded, related hard – both to the points about creativity, and comparing yourself to your peers. If it helps, this is exactly the kind of thing I want to read more of, so thank you! I'm trying to embrace the malaise myself, and recently rewrote my 'About' page bio to read more realistically:
Daniel Piper is an author, journalist and recovering poet. He peaked in 2017-18 when he published a collection of short stories and poems, was runner-up the World Poetry Slam Championships, performed two mildly successful comedy shows at the Edinburgh Fringe festival, gained a modest online following and appeared in a TV advert for a bank. Since then, his star has faded, for which he blames the coronavirus pandemic and changes to the Instagram algorithm. While it grows increasingly unlikely with each passing year that he will find the success and acclaim he craves, he has begun writing his autobiography, just in case.
Oh gosh I too have noticed the established authors taking over Substack! Three and a half years well done you. It does make the whole thing feel like a slog though I feel the same way. I am also sick of people selling themselves as substack gurus when the reality is they usually had a readership before, and it has grown on substack. I don’t know many people who have tonnes of subscribers who have started writing from scratch? There are so many under dogs on here. So much good writing. Keep going! That’s the advice I’m trying to give myself too 😂🙌🏻
Thanks for writing this. I am 39 and have followed the conventional career path and its left me financially comfortable, which is obviously amazing, but completely empty otherwise. I keep looking at a more creative path but its daunting and as you say, a lot of people I follow are already successful in that path so it's easy to pretend everyone in the creative field makes it work. Sorry,this is almost sounding like a negative post but I think what I'm saying is I'm really grateful for your honesty with how hard it actually is for the majority of people. Definitely keep going, the traditional path isn't necessary the answer either, but I do appreciate how good it feels to have less financial stress!
It's really hard, b/c even if you don't care about the money, every writer wants to be more widely read, which usually means doing marketing actions that resonate with you. That's what the Author Ecosystems is all about, finding the marketing actions that you don't think are marketing actions and resonate with your natural tendencies.
I think you missed one thing in your analysis. The thing with fame is that it's almost all luck and out of your control. Success is a different metric. You might be able to be famous with a group of people who know you, but overall fame, after a certain level, is luck more than anything.
It's okay not to be lucky, or lucky enough to win the fame lottery. All we can control is the work we do, not even the reaction people have to that work.
Wow, such honesty. Although I'm nowhere near being a writer, I felt deeply what you shared so thank you.
This post, which I randomly stumbled upon while scrolling on Substack, is my very first time reading any of your work. Now I plan on on reading your book. So, I guess the euphemism here is.. maybe the playground of thoughts and ideas is where you shine, where you create the community you crave, or at the very least, where you make new friends, followers, and a fan base. Keep writing girl 🤍
Every word of this resonated with me, Tiff - I have been feeling very lost and like I’m ‘over’ lately. I’m hoping it’s temporary, but it can make you feel so anxious when it’s both your passion and your income!
I totally agree that it’s not always about talent - often it’s just chance. Something goes viral, someone who’s ‘made it’ backs you (rare, as usually they just sort of back each other), etc. But there are so many different kinds of success and I do thing there’s a bit of arrival fallacy going on - I doubt anyone ever feels totally satisfied with where they’ve got to. On my worst days, I remind myself that you never know what will happen tomorrow, it helps a bit x
I don't know if you're looking for things to read that speak to how you're feeling – but if you are, read: 'When the thing that was meant to change your life doesn’t change your life' https://madeleinedore.substack.com/p/on-change
Cry! Have a wine! Buy something you can't afford! But don't give up – 'If you quit now, you will soon be back to where you started. And when you started you were so desperately wishing to be where you are now.'
And you're one up on me – I'm an UNPUBLISHED 33 year old writer (and single mum). But I'm now dancing to the song that success is when you've written something you're willing to post/publish/share – whatever comes afterwards is a bonus.
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly - I find it brave, and personally I am a big fan of writers who are willing to talk about their challenges and vulnerabilities.
It resonated with me: particularly, when you say you’re in a challenging moment as a single 35-yo who has chosen to follow a non-conventional, creative path, and the self-doubts this is bringing up for you when you think about where you’d like to be by now, including the more pragmatic financial side of it.
As someone who didn’t choose a well-paying linear career path back in the days and stuck with it her whole adult life and instead is trying to navigate an in-between space of “so what is it that I’m actually doing here?”, this feels very tender.
This morning I read a quote about “all is coming”, and who knows if it’s a bigger audience here on Substack or what else, but hopefully at least some of the answers we’re looking for? You are not alone, Tiffany.
I loved this Tiffany. So honest and it definitely resonated with me! I'd say keep going xxx
"Substack is no longer my playground but an amphitheatre for my failure." THIS oh god how I feel it in my bones and my little writer broken heart
Love Fleabag! So many good lines and that last episode.... damn... also... I feel every line you wrote. I don’t want to be in marketing here. I’ve been here for just as long and I feel like Substack loves the new successful newcomers and those of us who had faith, hope... audacity to write here first ... well, a big f//k you now! Like everything else; the longer you stay, the less value you have...
I’m sure you’re as skilled as other famous authors — though not as lucky. Fame and success are mostly driven by chance, even though famous and successful people don’t want to admit it.
You killed it here 🙏