Since the pandemic I’ve been trying to get back to that feeling I’d get after a good day’s work …Accomplished, complete, maybe a little wired….reading this makes me realise I’ve been chasing a ghost And now we emerge into the new world of work xo
I work in tech. I had just started a new job before the pandemic, and I loved it. I moved to Seattle to be closer to my job because I actually loved going to the office. There were daily rituals and people around to help me through the frustrating parts. There was solidarity. After the pandemic shutdown, everything changed. We were never able to capture the same camaraderie when we were fully remote. And it seemed like the bigger shift was almost spiritual. Leaders became more cynical, and started acting in their self-interest. Trust eroded, and workers felt more powerless than before. I got a new job two years ago, and I walked away from my job after maternity leave a couple months ago, because I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I felt good about anything at work. In two years, I had very few positive interactions with coworkers. I never got praised for the work I did, I never felt that feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. It was two years of just surviving every day, and I was feeling dead inside in a way that told me something was very, very wrong. I’m not sure I can go back to working in tech. As a very tired 36 year-old woman with a baby, I’m not sure I could even if I wanted to. I really resonate with this feeling of grief, and I’m here to say “me too”.
Tiffany! This week—exactly this week—I realized that I was grieving too. For me, it felt like I was grieving Life: the life I thought I could live, the future I thought I would have. I felt like I spent all my adult life trying to do everything exactly right—following what people (coaches, mentors, motivational speakers) suggested I should do—and it never worked. It felt like I was trying to dance someone else's dance. It's disheartening!
During my grieving, I got this image of myself turning away from that dance troupe and running into the forest. And there, in the middle of the trees and birds, I closed my eyes and started to dance to the rhythm of my own heart.
In other words: our hearts know what to do next. One heartbeat at a time.
Thank you for sharing and that’s beautiful! Exactly, we have to grieve and let go before we can dance to our own rhythm! A step all these self help gurus often leave out. Thank you 💃
Stuff is happening to our jobs, and yes it’s dislocating and alarming. Capitalism has meant that our incomes—and our sense of identity—has been tied to our jobs. And I don’t know what’ll happen with jobs. It’s scary.
But let’s not forget that we have a lot of Work in our lives, outside of jobs. Not-Job Work like caregiving and managing our homes and feeding and clothing ourselves. Stuff we have jobs to help us do, but which is still itself work.
I guess there’s one AI future in which we all turn into impoverished drones. But I kinda hope it’s a different future, one that causes us to notice once again all the invisible labor that keeps us going, and to value it.
Ooof, yep. I hadn’t really realised this was what I’ve been experiencing for the last couple of years. I’ve been berating myself for laziness. Blaming a lack of enthusiasm or concentration on other things going on in my life. Seeking out new hits of inspiration and rebuilding things from the inside. But I think you’ve just articulated what is actually the matter. The thing I’ve spent over a decade making my career and using to creative a life filled with flexibility might be gone in another ten years.
The Gen Xers back in the early 2010s decided to say F IT and during recession opened all sorts of cupcake shops. The little cheap treat held up society for a decade. What's OUR cupcake this time around?
I really felt I was alone. Until I read this.
There is something so potent in it. I hadn’t realised I’d been chasing a ghost, living with expectations of a memory x
Since the pandemic I’ve been trying to get back to that feeling I’d get after a good day’s work …Accomplished, complete, maybe a little wired….reading this makes me realise I’ve been chasing a ghost And now we emerge into the new world of work xo
I work in tech. I had just started a new job before the pandemic, and I loved it. I moved to Seattle to be closer to my job because I actually loved going to the office. There were daily rituals and people around to help me through the frustrating parts. There was solidarity. After the pandemic shutdown, everything changed. We were never able to capture the same camaraderie when we were fully remote. And it seemed like the bigger shift was almost spiritual. Leaders became more cynical, and started acting in their self-interest. Trust eroded, and workers felt more powerless than before. I got a new job two years ago, and I walked away from my job after maternity leave a couple months ago, because I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I felt good about anything at work. In two years, I had very few positive interactions with coworkers. I never got praised for the work I did, I never felt that feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. It was two years of just surviving every day, and I was feeling dead inside in a way that told me something was very, very wrong. I’m not sure I can go back to working in tech. As a very tired 36 year-old woman with a baby, I’m not sure I could even if I wanted to. I really resonate with this feeling of grief, and I’m here to say “me too”.
Thank you for sharing!
Tiffany! This week—exactly this week—I realized that I was grieving too. For me, it felt like I was grieving Life: the life I thought I could live, the future I thought I would have. I felt like I spent all my adult life trying to do everything exactly right—following what people (coaches, mentors, motivational speakers) suggested I should do—and it never worked. It felt like I was trying to dance someone else's dance. It's disheartening!
During my grieving, I got this image of myself turning away from that dance troupe and running into the forest. And there, in the middle of the trees and birds, I closed my eyes and started to dance to the rhythm of my own heart.
In other words: our hearts know what to do next. One heartbeat at a time.
Thank you for sharing and that’s beautiful! Exactly, we have to grieve and let go before we can dance to our own rhythm! A step all these self help gurus often leave out. Thank you 💃
Stuff is happening to our jobs, and yes it’s dislocating and alarming. Capitalism has meant that our incomes—and our sense of identity—has been tied to our jobs. And I don’t know what’ll happen with jobs. It’s scary.
But let’s not forget that we have a lot of Work in our lives, outside of jobs. Not-Job Work like caregiving and managing our homes and feeding and clothing ourselves. Stuff we have jobs to help us do, but which is still itself work.
I guess there’s one AI future in which we all turn into impoverished drones. But I kinda hope it’s a different future, one that causes us to notice once again all the invisible labor that keeps us going, and to value it.
Very true thank you!
Ooof, yep. I hadn’t really realised this was what I’ve been experiencing for the last couple of years. I’ve been berating myself for laziness. Blaming a lack of enthusiasm or concentration on other things going on in my life. Seeking out new hits of inspiration and rebuilding things from the inside. But I think you’ve just articulated what is actually the matter. The thing I’ve spent over a decade making my career and using to creative a life filled with flexibility might be gone in another ten years.
Way too relatable...
The Gen Xers back in the early 2010s decided to say F IT and during recession opened all sorts of cupcake shops. The little cheap treat held up society for a decade. What's OUR cupcake this time around?
Really good, Tiff. I relate a lot.
I've been unemployed and trying to break into laptop jobs, finally. This has articulated some sadness that keeps finding me at odd moments. thank you.
Oof.
You're not alone. So much of this resonated with me too x
All of this really really resonates x
Always good to hear I’m not alone 🧡
This exactly! You've just written what I've struggled to say for the last two years.
🫶