‘How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives,’ wrote the author Annie Dillard and I think of this quote every day.
After I suddenly lost my job in startup marketing six years ago, I became interested in (/obsessed with) routines and productivity. When I had a full-time job, I just had to wake up, and get to the office and my day was decided for me until I came home. My salary each month was also the same, no matter what I did with my office days. This is very much not the case if you’re self-employed.
When self-employed, you only get paid for your output and that transition when you’re used to a full-time job can be overwhelming. I was keen to hack time so that I could become more productive and earn more. This self-optimising approach was incredibly exhausting because the more work you do, the more work comes in and I felt like I was on a never-ending path of seeking ‘moreness’. I grew tired of trying to out-do time and asked myself: to what end?
Our culture is obsessed with reaching ‘happiness’ and yet encourages us to derive status and success from things that make us miserable, such as gruelling, but well-paid jobs. Feeling wealthy in time is one of the keys to happiness. Yet, society is often celebrating things that happen in a rush.
Media headlines fawn over the young debut novelist or the startup founder that reaches ‘unicorn’ levels of growth or there’s the rather futile Forbes’ 30 under 30 list. I always wonder behind those headlines what sacrifices had to be made to get there. Do these young people have friends? Has the founder knocked years off his life through stress?
My experience of grief at a young age taught me how limited and precious our time is. When I was twenty years old, a dear friend of mine’s heart stopped in the middle of the night. I was there in the house when he was found dead. He had been robbed of his future at a young age, yet so many of us who are still here fail to appreciate that fact.
I remind myself every day how lucky I am to be alive. The whole point of life is that it ends, so I made a conscious decision to slow down and enjoy each and every day as best I can. That means being incredibly mindful about how I spend my time and my current mantra is that I can always make more money, but I can’t get back more time.
So when I ask people about their routines, it may seem like small talk, but I’m actually asking a far deeper question about their attitude to life.
So, here’s my routine. Starting with…
My routine’s mission statement and general ethos
My day is structured around what’s important to me. I want to live a long, healthy and fulfilling life. I don’t want to feel tired and stressed (stress makes you ill and mean) and I want to enjoy the weekdays as much as the weekends.
I accept that some of these choices come at a sacrifice. I could be earning more money and it’ll also impact the rate at which I reach ‘success’ (whatever that means). I accept that my imprint on this earth will be deeply insignificant, but I’m fine with that.
A Day in the Life of Me: The End of Summer, Weekday Edition
My routine is already changing as we enter autumn, so if this post is popular, I’ll do it again.
If you end up trying any parts of my routine, then do let me know. I’ve had rave reviews from people who’ve tried the first one…
Sometime between 07:30-8.30am: I wake up without an alarm
This is the most consistent thing in my routine and I talked about it on the first-ever episode of the Is This Working? podcast back in 2019.
Good sleep is the foundation of a good life and waking up without an alarm means that I wake up when my body has had the amount of sleep it needs. I feel good and well-rested on most days.
As it’s summertime and I’m a single gal about town, I’m out many weekday evenings, so my wake-up time is a little later than in autumn and winter.
If I have something I have to get up for in the morning, then I go to bed earlier than usual and set the alarm for as late as possible. I almost always wake up naturally before the alarm goes off.
I don’t miss sharing beds with optimists who set the alarm for far earlier than needed and then snooze for ages and get out of bed groggy and grumpy.
My phone is out of reach of my bed, so after some staring at the ceiling, I get up. I try to avoid my phone as much as possible in the mornings as find the assault on my brain of notifications and scrolling very destabilising to my early thoughts.
I do pick up my phone and look at it a bit at some points in the morning, but it’s left on ‘bedtime mode’ until mid-morning, which means it’s greyscale and doesn’t have any notifications.
After I get out of bed: I drink coffee (and maybe a little spoon of yoghurt to line the stomach)
I know that I bitched about coffee bores last week, but I actually do have a good coffee machine and I enjoy a nice little Illy espresso first thing.
After/during coffee: Morning pages
I’m in the middle of the creative project/spiritual journey that is Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, which I’ll write more about soon. One year ago, I had a failed attempt at The Artist’s Way, but one thing that did stick was the daily morning pages. The morning pages is the instruction to write three pages of stream of consciousness every morning.
I always thought this sounded like a waste of time. The mornings are when my brain is best suited to writing, so I prioritised writing something I intended to publish during that time. But I was wrong and morning pages have been the game-changer that Julia and everyone else promised. They’ve been transformative for my mental health and have brought a lot of clarity and direction that I’ve put into action. Even something as simple as revealing that there’s a friend who I haven’t seen in a while who I’d like to talk to can come off those pages.
They’ve also led me to view creativity differently: as a way of life rather than about producing something for public consumption.
“Working with the morning pages, we begin to sort through the differences between our real feelings, which are often secret, and our official feelings, those on the record for public display.”
― Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
Morning pages take about 30 minutes.
9am-ish: Movement and/or exercise
Without my physical and mental health, I’m nothing. I have a conflict as I write best in the mornings, but if I exercise in the mornings, it gives me an incredible buzz of good energy that fuels my day. After exercise, any problem feels manageable and every irritating person more reasonable. I’m motivated to move in the mornings as I know how great I’ll feel after.
On Mondays and Wednesdays and sometimes Fridays I do a spin class on my Peloton, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I jump on my actual bike and dodge through the dog walkers of London Fields to go to a calisthenics or yoga class (on Fridays, calisthenics is at lunchtime).
If I’m around my period, I do gentler exercise - my routine changes around my menstrual cycle too, but that needs its own newsletter.
9:30am-ish (maybe 10:30am if I’ve been to a class out of the house): Shower, breakfast & get ready
Post-break-up, I make more of an effort with my appearance on weekdays as it makes me feel better about myself. After showering, I put on some light-tinted moisturiser, bronzer and mascara and wear a comfy but presentable outfit - I’m a big believer in investing in good loungewear/ ‘at home clothes’.
I eat Greek yoghurt with peanut butter and berries for breakfast. I used to have honey, but I learnt through doing the Zoe program (use my link for 10% discount) that I’m hyper-sensitive (like way worse than average) to blood glucose spikes, so I try to keep my levels as balanced as possible (again, another thing to write about soon).
At some point: Plan the day ahead
I have two jobs: I’m a writer and a recruiter. Recruiting requires calls and writing needs blocks of uninterrupted focus. I take a look at what calls I have coming up that day and plan blocks of time for writing around them. I also use Calendly, which is a tool that means people can book time with me directly (so no scheduling back and forth) but also means I can update it regularly to control when I’m going to speak to people. I aim to do calls back to back so they’re not spattered throughout the day and disrupt my focus. I also prefer to do calls in the afternoons when my brain is less alert, but it depends on how busy recruiting is if I need to free up morning time.
I don’t necessarily time-box tasks, as we always underestimate how long things will take. I start by asking what the minimum is that I need to do that day. I put what needs to get done in order of priority and I put essential tasks in the left of a piece of paper and ‘nice to do’ activities on the right, which usually includes some errands and life admin tasks.
When planning the day, I also check in on my weekly goals to see how I’m doing against them. My goals can vary from eating more fish, attending a number of yoga classes, or going on dates, etc. So if I’m behind on my dating goal, I’ll block out some time in my diary (Google Calendar, obvs) to go on Hinge (a process goal).
Sometime between 9:30-10:45am until I’m hungry: I work
If I have a long block of time free and the weather is nice, I go to a cafe to write.
If I have calls, I do them at home in my office.
If I’m not too busy, have an errand or feel aware that I’ve not been outside yet and need to buy groceries, I go for a walk.
My phone is a ridiculous hive of distractions and WhatsApp notifications, so I put it in another room when working.
When hungry (could be anytime from 12-2pm): Lunch
I open the fridge, assess what food is going off soon and make a meal around that. I may listen to a podcast at this point depending how much time I have. The elaborateness of my meal and the length of my voice notes to pals during this time also depends on what I’ve got on that day.
After lunch: Wash up and tidy the flat
I’ve learnt through the Zoe program that movement after eating is good for balancing glucose spikes. So after lunch, I wash up and clean and tidy the house a bit. An orderly and clean home is important to me (I always make my bed). Since the break-up, I found doing all the housework alone overwhelming, but I’ve got used to it now and learnt to do it as I go along as much as possible.
The afternoon (anytime depending on work load): Work
I move between recruitment and writing depending on how many recruiting calls I have. My calls are either with clients for updates, potential candidate calls or new business calls. It’s all very fast-paced and most of my calls are only 15 minutes at a time. Sometimes it can feel quite frantic and other times I have lots of space in the day.
If the weather is nice, I’ll go to a cafe to write or go for a walk. My balcony only gets sun in the morning so on good days, I’ll venture out in the afternoon as much as I can.
Sometime between 6:30-7:30pm: Enter the evening
When I stop work is usually dictated by the time of a yoga class or my evening plans to go out.
If out:
My evening outings are likely to be to the pub, a date, the theatre or a friend’s house. I’ll eat before or after depending on the start time, or of course during the activity if the plan is for dinner.
If home/ after yoga: Eat & chill
I love cooking myself proper meals since becoming single and I also try as much as I can to eat my dinner at the table and not in front of the TV. It’s what me and my ex did and I like to keep it up even though I’m alone now. I see nourishing meals and mindful eating as a gift to myself.
I then wash and clean up (he’s not around to do it anymore and it’s good for those glucose spikes as discussed at lunchtime).
Then I move to the sofa.
On the sofa I send out Hinge likes and talk to random boys on the app, send my friends voicenotes and read the internet. I can’t do two things at once so just let this time be phone time (I’d have to keep pausing the TV otherwise).
Later…
I make a camomile tea and watch something on TV with my phone away. (Unless someone interesting pops up on Hinge or I’m in a deep and interesting voicenote conversation with a pal.)
10pm- ish: Head to bed
I get ready for bed, which involves taking my makeup off and brushing my teeth. I put my phone out of reach, spray my lavender spray on my bed, oil my cuticles, and read a book until I’m sleepy, which can be anytime from 10.30pm to midnight.
I sleep for as long as I need, wake up without an alarm and do it all again…
If you liked this, try:
Is there something that’s important to you that you’re not making enough time for?
Has this post shifted your perspective in any way?
Let me know in the comments!
I absolutely loved this! Also a big fan of the natural wake-up and seeing every hour of your life as a precious resource. I learned that the hard way and it really changed the way I live. Thank you so much for sharing.
I love reading peoples daily routines. I love that you wake up without an alarm everyday and your allowing your body the rest it needs!