Are you a rule-lover or a rebel?
I put myself confidently in the rebel camp as I despise nonsensical rules. I see myself as a reasonably-minded free spirit: I believe it’s fine to cycle on the pavement if no (or few) pedestrians are on it and the world won’t end if someone jumps ahead of me in a queue. So when my friend,
called me a rule-lover, I recoiled in horror. However, as she started listing some of my life’s rules, I realised she was right.In fact, the original tagline for this newsletter was: ‘re-writing the rules of how we should be living our lives.’ So what a surprise, I do love rules, just not other people’s.
My rules are a combination of my standards and structures that make life easier. One of the strongest productivity hacks is to remove decision-making from our daily lives as the brain can only handle so many decisions in one day. That’s why having a routine (here’s mine) is so popular with productivity addicts.
I have a ton of dating rules, some are listed here and that likely needs its own post. But today I’m sharing some of my life rules (I have MANY more) that you may or may not want to follow:
The 10 Rules
Make the bed. I don’t do this as soon as I get up, because leaving the bed is achievement enough first thing. I just make sure I make the bed at some point during the day (I usually do it mid-morning). The general advice is to start the day well by making the bed, but for me, it’s more about ending the day by getting into a made bed. It feels like a nice gift to yourself. Also, the idea of getting into an unmade bed horrifies me.
I think I’d leave a guy if I went to his place and his bed was unmade.
Always check the weather forecast. The weather in this country is a changeable nightmare. I remember being horrified when I worked in an office and people would get dressed based on the morning’s weather. When the forecasted rain would come, I’d be sad to see their poor feet getting drenched in ballet pumps (they were in fashion when I had an office job).
Check the weather and dress accordingly!
An outfit starts with the right shoes. My Cypriot grandfather was a cobbler, so it’s in my genes to take shoes very seriously. But not in a Carrie Bradshaw fashion way, but in a practical one. For example, I have a trainer wardrobe, and each trainer type is assigned for different occasions. So, if I plan to walk for more than twenty minutes, then I won’t wear my flat-soled Converse, but my walking trainers with a heel to protect my feet.
Always plan dinner. It’s a key staple of British culture to meet for drinks with no discussion or intention for food. I’ve also learnt the hard way not to rely on food served at parties to feed me unless it’s a sit-down dinner. So, I always think about and plan my dinner before any meet-up.
Have indoor-only clothes. When I come home, I immediately have to take off my outdoor clothes and put on my indoor ones. I like to wear comfy clothes around the house that don’t go outside and I’m more fussy about this on the bottom half than the top.
No outdoor clothes in the bed. Someone told me that they sometimes get on their bed in the jeans they’ve been wearing out in the world all day and I felt sick. If the bed is made (which it is) and I’m choosing what to wear, I lay at the VERY end of the bed outfit options on TOP of the duvet.
But when wearing the clothes, close to the pillow or god forbid IN THE BED clothes that have been outside. NO!
No food in the bed. I’m sounding obsessed with the bed, but it’s such a sacred space and sleep is the foundation of a good life (alongside good shoes). I hate the idea of little dirty crumbs pinching at me from under the sheets and I just don’t find it very practical or comfortable to eat in bed, either.
I appreciate that ‘breakfast in bed’ is a thing that people have trays for, but I’m single and live in a small flat so I have to leave the bed to get anything anyway, so I may as well stay out of it and have my breakfast on the sofa.
I hate the idea of little dirty crumbs pinching at me from under the sheets and I just don’t find it very practical or comfortable to eat in bed, either.
Put the phone away when you have company. Whether you’re in bed, at dinner, with a friend or a cohabiting partner - put the phone away. Quality time is my love language and I like to be present with people. I feel itchy if I’m out with someone and their phone is face up on the table next to them while we’re together. I try to lead by example!
Don’t chase people. I think I became a grown-up when I realised that it’s ok to let people go. Previously, I’d have friendships where I felt like I was doing all the work and when I stopped doing that, I had more energy for people who wanted to be active participants in my life.
Abandon a book if you’re not enjoying it. Speaking of creating space, the trick to reading a lot is to stop reading a book that you’re struggling with. I hate getting stuck on a book as it stops me from reading and it’s freeing to just let it go.
So there you have it - some of my life rules. However, I should confess that I’m terrible at wearing sunscreen and you can wear shoes in my house.
What life rules do you have?
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Yes! All great points!
To make this a potentially valuable comment (haha), since our lists are already so similar, I'll add to put away your clothes in order of how you want to wear them. I literally stand in my closet and at the dresser with my calendar and the weather app open, and pre-decide every laundry day what I need to wear as I put clothes away. Granted, that's easier to do in a very mild, fairly regular climate (Seattle). But I'm sure it could work for most!
I also keep a pair of waterproof shoes and regular sneakers/trainers next to each other beside my bed. (I'm anal about just cleaning footwear *before* entering my home—I have a connective tissue disorder, and the orthotics in my shoes are crazy-expensive, so I have two in two shoes and that's it!) That way, I just pull a pair of bottoms/trousers and socks out of the drawer at night, set them on my bedside dresser, get the bottom half dressed first since my husband stays in bed over an hour later than I do; check the weather app for the day's prediction, then I know which pair of trainers to put on.
It's my process. 😉 And it helps me.
Oh, I also put the tops portion of my day's attire rolled up nicely in the bathroom beside my sink the night before as to not disrupt Sleeping Beauty (husband) when I exit the bathroom in the morning, and tip-toe out of the bedroom. But that really only works for more expansive countertops. Maybe left on the hangers and hung on the shower right before bed? Whatever works!
Great post, Tiffany! Thanks so much!
Love these points and your perspective! I can sense your confidence through your writing in the decisions you’ve made. That, I feel, is more important than any particular decision itself.