I feel guilty for watching my weight

I'm betraying women everywhere, but it's too late for me, the damage has been done

When I was a teenager at a competitive all-girls school, we all wanted to be thin, but there was the unspoken rule that you weren’t allowed to be seen to be trying to lose weight. I still feel this paradox: I want my body to be a certain size, but to be seen to be trying to be thin is a betrayal to other women. This adds a layer of guilt on top of the g…