Dear Tiff: Should I fire my client?
They're stressing me out, but I feel like I shouldn't walk away from stable income when everything feels so uncertain
Dear Tiff,
I'm a fellow freelancer and I'm struggling with a difficult client situation.
I've been working with a client for a few months and I'm having some issues. My instinct is to fire them but I'm worried that I don't know if it's a me problem or a them problem.
My main frustration is that they don't give me adequate feedback, despite me repeatedly asking for it. And then inevitably this leads to a problem with the work. In a specific example, the client emailed me on the weekend to tell me off and said we needed a call the following week which really stressed me out because I hate feeling like I'm trouble.
On the other hand, the work brings in decent income and they always pay on time which I can't overstate how rare that is in my industry. I feel like I shouldn't walk away from a stable income right now when everything just feels so uncertain.
I told myself I would do this job temporarily while I take a leap of faith on a creative project. However, I'm concerned that I'm now just procrastinating on actually getting that project off the ground because of the stable income. Maybe I'm looking for reasons to fire them because I'm too scared to walk away in the hopes of something better.
Please help!
Thanks,
A self-doubting freelancer
Dear Self-Doubting Freelancer,
I want to say ‘YES QUIT! You go girl. Dance off into the sunset and launch your creative project’. But sorry, no.
Telling you to fire your client would momentarily make us both feel great and I’d love to give you that dopamine hit, but I’d love it more if you could pay your rent next month.
Aside from the financial practicalities, there’s also the unsexy truth that we need a stable foundation to create from. The chaotic, mad artist or creator is a myth. I can only be creative when everything else around me is stable and calm.
So yes, get that creative project off the ground! Take the pressure off if there is some fear of failure (or fear of success?) going on there by seeing it as a trial and then, yes, fire your client once the project takes off.
Aside from the financial practicalities, there’s also the unsexy truth that we need a stable foundation to create from.
Then it becomes a question of how you can tolerate your situation in the meantime. How to not let it drain you and steal the energy you need for your true purpose in life, which is to share your creativity in the world - NOT to think about how best to reply to poorly phrased emails.
You seem like someone who’s interested in growth and learning and holds high standards for themselves. It’s why you’re frustrated by the lack of feedback.
I’m going to presume the client work you’re doing is pedalling your craft to an extent and so it’s important to you that you do it well. But! I think you need to distance yourself from it a bit. Your identity and worth aren’t tied up with how well you perform within the commercial constraints you’re operating in. You’re not doing your craft in optimum conditions.
You’ve articulated one of the worst things about work - the fear of being told off. I’m not a therapist, but we’re all traumatised from childhood, where for many of us, getting ‘told off’ was scary ASF. It also wasn’t necessarily the telling off itself that was the problem, but the confusion that came with it. We rarely intentionally do something wrong, so when we’re met with a telling-off, it takes us to a horrible place of feeling misunderstood.
I’m sure that in your work you intend to do your best, so when you’re met with something that feels like a telling-off, then it’s really horrible. Really, really horrible. Especially on a bloody weekend.
You’ve literally articulated the worst thing about work - an afflicting that we carry into our thirties and beyond - the fear of being told off.
This is the problem with work. People spread passive-aggressive anxiety around via email and it’s just not nice for anybody.
This person isn’t giving you feedback because they want you to fail or they want to tell you off, they probably just don’t know how to give feedback. Good feedback is an art form, which most people don’t have a clue how to do. Another problem with work.
You need to step into the mindset of the hired expert. A weekly check-in is something you should push for when you take on new clients. It forces your work to be a priority for them so they give you the time that’s needed to give feedback and to flourish.
Freelancers often have more experience in our field than those managing us and we need the relationship to reflect this. We need to teach them how to best support us. We need to show them what good feedback looks like and why it’s important. When something isn’t working, we need to discuss as a team why we think it isn’t.
If I’m struggling to get good candidates for recruitment, it could be that the salary on offer is too low. If we’re not getting PR for the client, it could be because the company isn’t ready for press yet. If the copy isn’t liked, it could be the brief wasn’t clear. I could go on. This is the energy you need to bring to calls. If they’re still choosing to blame you and they’re not collaborating then yes, fire them as soon as you’re financially able to.
So yes, quit (soonish), but launch your creative project first!
With love,
Tiff xx
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Fear of being told off is so real! Very relatable